


THE COON: SEASON 1 (Midnight City)

by DragonsTommorow, Firecast_Omega



Series: THE COON SERIES [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: F/F, F/M, I’m sorry, Kick the baby, M/M, Random Alien - Freeform, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:22:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22578511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonsTommorow/pseuds/DragonsTommorow, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firecast_Omega/pseuds/Firecast_Omega
Summary: Eric Cartman  gets bitten by a raccoon, and gets superpowers. That's literally the entire thing.Mysteries are also at every single corner, and aliens exist.
Relationships: Bebe Stevens/Wendy Testaburger, Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Phillip "Pip" Pirrip/Damien Thorn
Series: THE COON SERIES [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1624657
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	THE COON: SEASON 1 (Midnight City)

It was around 11 p.m, and Eric Cartman was unable to sleep. He sat still on his back onto his bed, staring at a wall. This is shit! He thought to himself, cursing to himself. 

Suddenly, he began to hear rustling from his backyard. The hell?

He hopped out of bed as quickly as his fat ass could go. He was growing curious about what could be making a noise like that. He tiptoed out of his room, growing excited about what can be out there. 

When he went outside, he was shocked to see some raccoon in his trash can, trying to get at tons of scraps in it.

“Hey, get out of there you fucking stupid raccoon!” Eric shouted at the raccoon who was digging through the trashcan.

It looked up and glared at him. It snarled at him. Eric flinched slightly, before he said,” Get out of there you fucktard, and leave!”

The raccoon looked at him menacingly, before hopping off the trashcan and raced towards Eric.

“What the fuck?” Eric exclaimed as it jumped right on him, snarling and biting. 

He managed to get hold of the raccoon, and threw it off him, before it decided to scatter off.

Eric then began to feel exhausted, so he went back into his house, and began to head to his bedroom.

Once he reached it, he passed out and fainted.

\-----------

“Eric? My munchkin?” A gentle voice asked, and Eric opened his eyes up.

“What do you fucking want?” Eric asked, mumbling. 

His mother cast a worried look at him. “You look pale, very pale.”

That’s when he remembered the raccoon. Fuck.

“That damned raccoon!” Eric exclaimed, causing his mother to look at him confused.

“Ah- nothing,” he tried to assure her.

“But-” she tried to say before Eric cursed at her.

“I’m fine!” He shouted, annoyed.

“Are you fine enough to go to school?” His mother challenged him. 

Eric just glared at his mother, trying to stand up before losing his balance and falling over again. He hits his head on the bed before cussing again.

“Munchkin, why don’t you just get in bed and lay down for the day?” His mother asked him.

Eric didn’t respond to her, he just stands up holding his balance this time and gets dressed in his normal red hoodie and yellows pants with his red and yellow puff hat. He walks past his mom grabbing his backpack and walks out the door on his way to the school bus stop to meet his friends.

“You look terrible,” Kenny said, and Eric could tell he was grinning through his hoodie.

“Shut the fuck up,” he growled back, feeling insulted.

“Damn Eric, chill,” Kyle says, trying to stop Eric and Kenny from starting an argument.

“Shut up you stupid Jew,” Eric growls at Kyle. 

Before Kyle can answer the bus comes and stops in front of them as they all get on Stan and Kyle sit together and start talking, Kenny goes to sit with Butters, leaning Cartman to sit alone which his fine with as he leans his head against the cold window and just watches the scenery as it goes by.

The bus stops a few more times before getting to school. When it makes it to the school Cartman is pushed awake by Kenny.

“Wake up fatass,” Kenny says, laughing as Cartman tries swatting at him.

“Go away. I’m not fat, I'm big-boned.” Cartman explains but gets up and off the bus with Kenny anyways. They walk to their lockers which happen next to be next to each other with Stan and Kyle. 

“Doesn’t something seem off with this Cartman this morning?” Stan whispers to Kyle.

“Still seems like an asshole to me.” Kyle answers while shrugging, they all walk to Mr. Garrison’s classroom.

When they got to the class and sat down, Eric began to fidget a bit. Kyle noticed as soon as it began happening, and he just shook his head to himself.

“Dude,” Kenny whispered to Kyle,” What’s up with fatass?” Kyle snorted in response.

“How am I supposed to know?” Kyle replied back, rolling his eyes and focusing back on the class. Kyle eventually looks over at Eric and he seems to fidget even more.

Kyle shrugged, thinking that whatever the dumbass did was his own fault.

Me. Garrison looks up at Eric,” Eric will you sit still? Your distracting the other kids.”

Eric just flipped Garrison off. “I could give a shit about this class.” 

“God fucking damn it, Eric,” Mr. Garrison snapped. “Go to the office!”

Eric shrugged. “Alright.” And he swiftly got up and left the room.

“The fuck was that?” Stan whispered to Kyle.

“How the fuck am I suppose to know?” Kyle snapped back.

“KYLE. NO CUSSING IN CLASS!” Garrison shouted. 

“Sorry Garrison,” Kyle answered, shrugging his shoulders and getting back to work forgetting about Cartman.

Two classes passed by, and Kyle and the others have yet to see Cartman return.

“He must be home,” Kenny pointed out, as they were waiting at the lunch line.

“Maybe,” Kyle finally agreed. 

Kyle looks over at Stan and whispers to him, ”Do you really think something is up with Eric? He probably just wants attention again.” 

Stan still didn’t look convinced. “I don’t know, maybe.”

“Only maybe?” Kyle asked.

“You know what I mean,” Stan sighed.

“Maybe we should visit him after school,” Kenny said, earning a nod from Kyle.

“Fine, whatever,” Stan stated.

The rest of the school day went by, and they were able to stop by Cartman’s home.

Ms. Cartman let them in. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but I’ll take him to the doctor’s tomorrow if he doesn’t feel any better.”

The other three nodded. 

“Alright,” Stan said. 

They reach Cartman’s room, and as they went in they saw Cartman playing video games from his bed.

“What the hell do you want?” Cartman snapped at them as they walked in.

“MOoommmm I told you I didn’t want guests coming over!” Cartman yelled to his mother, who was downstairs.

She didn’t respond.

Cartman sighed irritably. “What the hell do you guys want?”

Kyle sighs and looks over at Eric,” We were worried about you fat ass. Last time I try to care for you.” He says getting ready to walk out of the room.

“ Kyle stop that, you know how Eric is. He’s just pushing your buttons again.” Stan says grabbing Kyle's arm to stop him from leaving.

“Fine, but if he pisses me off more, I’m leaving,” Kyle says, casting Cartman a pissed off glare.

Stan nods his head and looks over at Cartman” you're going to tell us, what’s going on with you? You have been acting weird all day dude.” 

Eric shrugs his shoulders not really paying attention” I’m fine. Just leave me alone.”

“Sure you are,” Kenny said. “You’re a terrible liar.”

“Shut up Kenny. I’m a great liar, I lie all the time, don’t I?” Cartman says glaring at Kenny

Kenny scoffed. 

Kyle laughs to himself” maybe he’s dying and we should put him out of his misery.” He grabs the pillow. 

“Screw you fucking Jew,” Cartman says taking the pillow from Kyle. 

“ You would like that wouldn’t you?” Kyle answers rolling his eyes and goes to stand by Kenny the farthest away from Cartman.

Kenny snorted. “Why are you trying to get near me?”

“ Shut up, I wanna be away from him. You're the furthest away.” Kyle says hitting Kenny’s arm, Kenny hits Kyle back harder.

“Ow, Kenny that hurt. I didn’t hit you that hard.” Kyle says, playfully whining. 

Kenny rolled his eyes. “You tried to attack me first.”

“I didn’t even hurt you!” Kyle glares at Kenny.

“ Okay. That’s enough, we don’t wanna hear you two argue.” Stan yells at them, causing the two to glare at him.

Cartman stared at them. “Can you all leave now? I am fine!”

Kenny laughs” Yeah, and my family is rich. Your funny Cartman.” 

“That has nothing to do with me wanting you all to leave,” Cartman muttered. 

“We won’t leave till you tell us what is wrong,” Kyle says, crosses his arms. Stan and Kenny nod their head in agreement. 

“Goddamnit, fine,” Cartman rolled his eyes. “I was bitten by a raccoon, so fuck off.” 

Kenny snorted and began to laugh. 

Cartman cast a pissed off glare in his direction. 

“Sorry- a raccoon?” Stan asked, also acting as though he was going to laugh. 

Kyle starts laughing, “Wait guys, who cares about Cartman? We should go to make sure this poor raccoon is okay. It had to be close to Cartman.” Stan and Kenny just laugh harder as Cartman glares at them all. 

“Haha, whatever assholes. You can leave me alone now. You got what you wanted.” Eric says pissed off, they are laughing at him 

“Alright, alright, let’s go,” Stan said while laughing. 

They all walk out laughing and talking about it.

“You think he was faking being bitten by a raccoon?” Kyle asked.

Kenny shrugged. “I don’t know- could care less about that, to be honest.”

“ It has to be made up, who gets bitten by a raccoon. They run away from you. Don’t they?” Stan asked them as they reached the front door, stepping outside.

Kyle nods his head,” Yeah pretty sure they do. I’m sure he will be fine in the morning, it’s Cartman. He will come to the school like nothing ever happened.” 

They all nod their heads and go off in different directions to get home.


End file.
